Saturday, April 15, 2006

Horrible Day

I've been getting more sub jobs since my other job cut back my hours to under 30 a week. I've had three so far this month and I'm hoping to get more. I even had one yesterday and I swear, yesterday was a living nightmare for me. Here is what happened.

I was supposed to sub for a 5th grade class from 8 until 3:45. Well, I go in and they offer to put me as a roving sub (one that goes from class to class rather than staying in one class all day) rather than in the class I was going to be in. Well this school I was subbing at is one that I don't know all that well and I told them that I didn't feel comfortable being a roving sub in a school I didn't really know very well. So they went ahead and put me in the 5th grade classroom as originally planned. I was all excited about all of it, and felt that it was going to be a really good day. But boy was I dead wrong! Those kids were worse than devils! They would not shut-up, they would not do what I said, and even taking away time from their only recess didn't help them listen to me. No matter what I tried; raising my voice, redirection, punishments, etc; none of it worked! It got to the point where some of the other teachers had to help me get them quieted down. Well the students would listen to the other teachers but after they left and it was just me and the kids again, they just started right back up again! Finally after lunch, the principal came up and talked to me. I couldn't help it and I just started crying, right there in front of the kids and the principal. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't keep one class of 5th graders under control! I told the principal that I have never had any problem like this before and that I just could not get them to listen to me, no matter what I tried. And it was true, I've never had problems getting kids to settle down and pay attention in class. I don't know what it was, but for some reason, yesterday was just a regular hell.

So anyway, the principal found someone to take over for me for the rest of the day and sent me home. So rather than getting a full day's pay for such a hellish job, they only put on my time sheet the amount of time I was actually there. When I left the school I was still crying and I knew that I was too unstable to stay in town and go to work at my other job that night. I called my mom and explained what happened and she agreed that I should just come home and not go to work. So I called in to tell them I wouldn't be coming in and then went home.

Those kids made me look like a complete and utter fool, and incompetent to boot! I was so embarrassed and I still am. I go back in my mind and think about what I did and I can't find that I did anything wrong. But something must have gone wrong for the day to end so horribly. I just wish I could figure it out, because until I do, I know it will keep eating at me.